Matthew 9:25
When the crowd was put out, he came and took her by the hand, and the little girl arose.
On a day like this you are probably expecting some Independence Day reflection about how we should cherish our freedom to worship. But today's Gospel passage made it hard for me to go there. Instead I'm going to talk about the miracle we need versus the miracle we want. Having lost my daughter to Cystic Fibrosis last year it's been a little hard for me to see these passages about Jesus healing the sick and raising the dead. I've spent a lot of this last year asking God where my miracle is….
Until last month. It was a Sunday my mom said her priest jokingly referred to as resuscitation Sunday. In both the Old Testament and Gospel we saw widows whose son died and God raised them from the dead. At my parish our deacon had the homily and he pointed out something that had never dawned on me. Jesus didn't raise these young people from the dead for them. They were just fine up in heaven. He raised them because that was the miracle that their parents needed.
It made me realize that having Maddy back wouldn't do her any good. She would be here fighting this dying world. As a matter of fact just a few weeks before this I had a dream that Maddy had come back from heaven. It was some kind of weird furlough program where she got to come back and spend some time with me. You know how dreams go! When it was time for her to go back to heaven I told her I was sure we could work it out with God for her to stay here instead. I asked her if she would like that. She looked me with tears in her eyes and shook her head no. All I could do was hold her and tell her that I understood. I would rather be in heaven too, so I didn't blame her for wanting to go back.
You see I understand that my daughter is in a better place than I am. She is no longer in pain and fighting for every breath. I didn't get the miracle I wanted. But God is sending me the miracle I need. I know he has a plan for me. My miracle is that I am beginning to understand that plan. My prayer is that whatever trials you face today God sends you the miracle you need. It won't always be the miracle you want. And as we celebrate this Independence Day (I guess I AM going to reflect on it) I will also pray that you, and I, will have the strength to recognize it and know the full freedom of accepting God's plan for our life.
